Self care

I can't believe it's already the end of January. Soon it will only be a 7 month wait left. That's closer to 6 months and that doesn't sound too bad. I may even consider trying after 10 months but likely not. Last time we rushed to get pregnant after the first miscarriage and look how that turned out. Having a baby is a big enough risk without worrying about having GTN coming back while pregnant.

I joined yoga last week. Another teacher organized this and it's really inexpensive and held at school, right after school. It was great! I wasn't going to join at first because I wondered if the pregnant staff might be there and there would always be references to how to modify the pose if you are pregnant. I just don't think I could handle that. But, I decided that I'd try and if it bothered me, I wouldn't go. Well, it turns out that there are not pregnant women there so I was able to relax.

This week I have a shiatsu massage booked at the student clinic. Also, I'm having dinner with friends on Wednesday and I'm going to a play on Saturday. So, I'm trying to build in self-care into my weeks. I'm still not getting enough exercise but I did take transit last week twice and it made a huge difference to my stress levels. M drops me off and picks me up at the skytrain station. It makes it so much easier and I'm happy to have tried it.

Life is good. I feel like I am doing okay. I still "pine" for a baby when I see other babies and moms. I try to affirm that that will be me one day. I will treasure my little baby and if I ever feel like I'm taking him or her for granted, I would look back and read this blog and remember all I went through.

Time seems to move along really quickly so I know that we will be trying to conceive again sooner than it feels like right now. I feel like parts of me are softer (figuratively speaking) now than before. My heart has opened and I'm more committed to nuturing and mothering myself.

Currently, I'm planning my birthday weekend. It will consist of skiing at Whistler, hot tubs, good food and wine. I am all about enjoying life right now. A little hedonism goes a long way for someone like me that usually tends to dwell and suffer. No more!