This is the post I wrote last week

...but I didn't publish it because I couldn't think of how to end it:

I'm in the land of full-time work and I'm trying hard not to be consumed.

My first week back went well. We had some snowstorms and so I had really small groups of students many of the days. The staff were good and no one brought up anything about my time off (as I requested). I'm comfortable with that even though it means that sometimes I feel like it's forgotten about. In some ways, that's just fine. When I feel like talking about it with certain people I will, but there's not a lot of people with whom I would want to discuss that time.

I've been leaving at a decent hour every day and that is helping my outlook and health. I need to try and get more exercise. Also, I'm reducing the amount of caffeine I'm consuming. That's been hard and I felt pretty grumpy today.

I took time on Sunday to journal about anything that might come up around greiving. The thing that I wrote about the most concerned work and keeping in balance. I'm really making a conscious effort not to get too wrapped up in everything, including politics. I'm noticing when my body feels tense or stressed and I'm trying to stop and figure out why. I've also decided to start taking transit some days instead of driving the 35 to 40 minutes. That has made a big difference actually. I find the driving adds a lot of stress.

I'm still pondering the wait time of 6 months or 12 months. I received a really nice email from a woman who had a twin pregnancy with a healthy baby and a mole. I think this would be a particularly painful loss because you lose the healthy baby and usually, your health is extrememly compromised. Her email was very encouraging though and she now has a 10 month old baby. I hope that her comment has posted in the comment section below because even though I "approved" it to be posted, the last time I noticed it hadn't. Anyways, thank you for your note. It means a lot to me when people delurk and comment.

I am feeling like I have to do something nice for myself soon. I haven't had some nurturing and I can tell that I need it. Also, I'm feeling low energy because I got my period (yay, it's regular!).

Last Saturday I started monthly testing. Thank Goodness for that. Now I go for a blood test on the 15th of every month.