The Complete Egg

The before, during and after of a molar pregnancy, with a side of chemo and a 12 month wait before ttc. And most recently: experience of a healthy pregnancy.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

The Body Remembers

I just woke up from a horrible nightmare. In my dream, I had another miscarriage. I was so alone in the dream and then after I miscarried, I physically lost the baby. Someone had taken it. It was terrible. I'm feeling so upset right now and I have to go to work soon. My husband tried to comfort me but I still feel unsettled. I wonder if I had that dream because about this time last year I had my first miscarriage. And it was a "natural" miscarriage. I don't think I can every forget it and all the details. I wish I could. Why me? I know that it's nothing personal of course. It's just the way of things. Today I have to go to a training on child abuse and teaching children about safe touching, etc. That is the last thing I feel like doing today. I want to cocoon today and cover up with lots of blankets and watch something mindless. At least I can leave early. Okay, deep breaths. Deep breaths.

1 Comments:

Blogger Anna said...

Wow. That is amazing that your subconscious is pausing to remember at an anniversary. I am so sorry that you had to go through that. Nightmares like that are horrible. I have them too. Wish I could find the off-switch on my subconscious sometimes!
I'm praying for your broken heart around this time. Lord knows we can't escape but I know He'll give you the strength to get through this.

2:18 AM  

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