Sleeping all the time these days it feels like. I am having a hard time getting comfortable at all. I do like swimming, it helps to alleviate the discomfort. I ought to go out for a walk today but I am enjoying being lazy. I did stay up late last night and I just wanted a pj day today. I'm getting more comfortable with the idea of a c-section. I shouldn't romanticize labour because I'm sure that it could be traumatizing too. It's funny though how I feel like I'm missing out on a universal experience but that's a stupid idea, it's not universal for all women. A bunch of women I know are not even having children for a variety of reasons. I guess I ought to be getting used to these surprise circumstances. There I go, going to that place of self-pity. I don't want to take things for granted. I have a lot to be thankful for and I want to focus on that. I am so glad that I don't have to work right up to my due date. I would be a mess. I think that I'll go back and read some of my posts since the beginning of this pregnancy. I have been reading over my journals and it's interesting to look back over the whole time. I've been incredibly happy and worried at times. For the most part, I've really enjoyed this pregnancy. I've enjoyed being pregnant. I am going to enjoy being a mom and caring for a little person. I am so in awe that I will get to meet him or her soon.
posted by Chantelle @ 5:32 PM
1 Comments:
I haven't read your blog for weeks, Chantelle and I have just caught up on the last three posts! Wow. Full on. I am really sorry the baby is still breech. I can imagine what a mental adjustment that must be and really appreciate the way you have shared that here. I would find that hard too and I think it is really healthy and good to grieve it.
I also had to have a sigh of commiseration re: the midwife experience. I have found the midwives at my hospital to be the same. Really wonderful in many ways but they are very anti-c-section and not great at hiding their agenda when making that decision! Even when I was told by OB after 26 hours of labour that I had to have a c-sec I had a midwife trying to suggest that I not go with a c-section and try and push her out, despite all the risks and the fact that my OB was emphatically saying I needed to have a c-section within a few hours. Frankly, I didn't want internal injuries and tears as a result, so I am glad I followed my OB's advice in the end. In post-natal care, not all midwives were helpful in their advice or care either. I have developed a certain wariness around midwives now and feel that it is really important that you just know what you want, take their advice with a level head and then go with what you know is best in your heart, without feeling guilted or bullied into alternatives beyond that. You go forward in confidence girl! It is your body and your baby and you DO know best! It must be very very soon that your c-section is scheduled. Is it on the actual due date? Well, I'm hanging out to find out who this much awaited person is! When you're ready to approach the keyboard again, I look forward to reading about how you have gone with it all. Praying you have a really wonderful experience and that your baby is perfectly healthy!
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