I was going to start this post by talking about the new year and blah, blah, blah, but my heart is just not in it. My thoughts go immediately to my lovely friend - the most kind, peaceful person I think I have ever met. Her 5-year old daughter was diagnosed with cancer over Christmas. It takes all the breath out of me and leaves me numb. How can this be true? And not only is my friend reeling from this tragedy, but prior to her child's illness her husband told her that he's not "in love" with her anymore. My wonderful, loving friend who is the most genuine person, someone who have I have admired and aspired to be like. Since she told me yesterday, I don't know what to do with these feelings. "It's not fair!" keeps blasting through my mind. Somehow, T is putting one foot in front of the other and her love still shines through. I hope that I provided some support but I was just so shocked. And I still am. She said so many of the same things that I did after my levels went up and I had to go in for chemo....."Why is this happening to me?" was the most poignant. She feels as if the ground beneath her has suddenly disappeared. This life is so mysterious. How do we not take it personally? How can we not feel that this is being "done" to us? I have no answers.