I've really enjoyed the comments that some people have been posting. Thank you for your well wishes and putting up with my spelling mistakes and overuse of certain words ("great" and "so" and "such"). I reread my posts after the fact and am too lazy to go back and change things. The comments help me to feel connected to a community. I've sort of fell off with the forum that I use to frequent. I'm not sure why. Maybe I'll try that out again. Anna, if you are reading, I'd like to email you so if you don't mind, would you share your email address in a comment?
Last week was a very long week and I was quite tired. It was the week after our Christmas party and I think I was playing catch up with sleep all week. It was a fantastic party though! What a nice energy. Friendly people and a good mix of people. Everyone was very sociable. I was glad it went so well. Sometimes throwing a party can be a bit anxiety producing. I was up quite late and I really wanted to go to bed at 10pm but everyone didn't leave until about 2:00.

This week we have the Christmas concert and then mostly a lot of fun crafts and movie days leading up to Christmas. We don't get off until the 21st this year so it's quite close to Christmas. Everyone is just done. I don't know how we'll pull off this concert but somehow it always comes together.

I'm feeling baby movement all the time now. Malcolm actually felt a kick too! It was amazing. That was in the 21st week. He was so amazed by the experience. It's interesting because it hasn't happened since. I've felt a lot of movement but he hasn't felt it on the outside. It must have been some fluke and the baby was positioned just right or gave a particularly hard kick or punch. I have truly been soaking in these incredible moments. It is such an amazing process growing new life inside of you. I feel very present and grateful.

Malcolm and I had the experience of being given baby "advice" at my staff Christmas party. I tried to hear it as storytelling instead of advice so that I wouldn't get annoyed. It seemed to work for me. I didn't take any of it personally and just listened for the love in their stories about their babies. Why do people feel the need to give advice about your expected baby? Everybody's experience is so personal and unique. I just don't think that you can generalize.

I also had the experience of talking with our secretary too, who had 3 miscarriages before her third child. We talked about the anxiety and insecurities that are present in the healthy pregnancy. It was cathartic to talk to someone who went through a very difficult time with pregnancy also. She's a lovely woman and talked very openly with me about that time in her life.

My students now know that I am pregnant. One little boy came in to class in the morning and flat out asked, "Are you pregnant?". So, I told the whole class and they are so excited. It has prompted many questions and comments. Many are thinking of names for the baby. The same grade one boy came in another morning and said, "My brother says that stress will harm the baby." He followed that by saying, "I don't really know what that means though". They've been coming out with some really funny things. I need to start writing more of what they say down.

So, I better be off to bed. I do reflect on how much love and well wishes are coming my way now that I am pregnant. I could have used this same kind of support with my pregnancy losses but maybe I was not open enough about the pain that I was going through. It felt so personal and I didn't want to share it but maybe I could have been open to receiving love and help. Mostly, I just felt like people wanted to avoid that pain. So, I'm sending out my love now to all the women who are trying to get pregnant or waiting to get pregnant or who have had a loss.