It's almost June. It's almost summer vacation, it's almost summer vacation, it's almost summer vacation. I teach 3 grades - 1, 2 and 3. Majority boys and 5 kids with special needs. It's a Montessori program so we are always differentiating the curriculum for each learner. On the good days, it's a gong show. It's also very amazing and inspiring to share time with children ages 6 to 9.
Right now my home is filled with flowers - peonies, irises, roses. I'm in heaven. We had a birthday party last night for Malcolm. It was truly the best party I have been to in awhile. We haven't thrown a party in a very long while and it really came together. Everyone enjoyed our patio, the food and the company. It was a lot of fun!
Malc, myself and my friend went to THE POLICE last wednesday. It rocked! Another thing I haven't done in a long time - go to a rock concert. It was totally inspiring. I had no expectations and I had so much fun.
Life seems to feel a little lighter these days. Maybe it's the change in temperature and weather. I've got to start report card writing though so I better sign off.
Today, I feel like the summer will be a good time to ttc. I've decided that I won't get hcg readings though. I will just get the early ultrasound to confirm the health of the pregnancy. I don't want to stress about the hcg readings. It's not an exact science and everyone's pregnancy seems to be different. I wish I felt no trepidation about trying again but I'm terrified. If I have another loss, I know that I will keep trying but with a broken heart. I want to keep love at the centre of all of this. Parenting is such a selfless act. It's asks you to give so much of yourself at all times. I have to treat this whole process as a practice. A practice in impermanence. A practice in being present, in letting go, in love, in hope. My heart has cracked open numerous times now and each time, it's a choice about whether or not to stay open or build the shell. I want my heart to continue to soften, not harden with the experiences life presents to me.
posted by Chantelle @ 2:52 PM
1 Comments:
Go you party girl! What a difference there is in you, to when I first met you! I remember the first blog I ever read of yours was your New Years Eve party one! Glad you has more of a 'party' experience this time. Very envious of your POLICE exploits as well. Bring on the Summer! (also envious of that, as I sit here freezing my butt off in Winter!)
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